BROKEN DREAMS BROKEN WINGS

We are all travellers on a journey long and hard.
Though each began at a different time,
Some tread each step heavily.
None knows when his journey will end,
But all know that there is an end.

For years, I wished my eyes would not open in the mornings. I thought of people who made it through each day as great SURVIVORS because life can be very challenging.

1999
I went to Station of Life (SOL) in Lahad Datu, Sabah, where I experience great revival, knowing the five fold ministries and enjoying the sweet, awesome Presence of God. When I returned, I thought I could carry the world on my shoulders. But things began to go wrong. My company was merged with five other companies, and I ended up as a clerk serving four bosses. Then I broke my leg in a bus accident and till today, I feel the pain when it rains. For two years after that, I sent almost a thousand job applications but not a single replied. My leg was broken and emotionally I felt broken too; all that seemed to pour out of my mouth were the sounds of morning. Here I learn PERSEVERANCE….

End 2000
Just when I gave up hope of finding job, I was offered the post of Assistant Manager in the first firm established here by the Iranian government. I was the only Christian and the only Chinese there. I made friends with the Iranians however, and they were curious to know why I was so bubbly and helpful all the time. I told them about Jesus’ love, and seven of them began going to church! The local HR Manager did not like this, and could have made things bad for me, but God was on my side. Some time later, an Iranian woman who had been barren for 11 years finally became pregnant after several friends and I interceded for her. My faith rose immeasurably! The boy is five now. The factory was shut down later due to the Iranians’ own political struggles. I guess my mission there was accomplished. Here I learn to SHARE…

2001/911
The day the world changed, my little world changed too. The company I worked for now was badly affected by the 9/11 incident. I lost my job, with three months’ salary still owing to me. I ran into financial difficulties. For the next nine months all I did was attend interviews. “God, what sin did I commit to deserve this?” I kept asking myself. From being independent, never asking for financial support, I became dependent on my family. It was so humbling. I had to swallow my pride. I wish I were dead. Here I learn to be DEPENDENT…

2002
Finally, a pastor introduced me to a company involved in direct selling. I worked six full days a week. I had to throw the rubbish, sweep and mop the floor, clean utensils and carry stocks until my arms hurt. I was earning what I used to earn back in 1998. Every day I drove home crying. I felt like Rebekah in the Bible, being moulded anew. I was ashamed of the work I had to do. But thank God for the pastor and someone willing to employ me. I settled my debts little by little. However, my car was submerged in a flood one day and began to give me a lot of trouble after that. Here I learn to be HUMBLE….
2003 – 2007
Finally, my divine training was over! I got a job in real estate. I could finally rest. I was able to forget much of the unhappiness of the recent past. I sold my car and bought another under my sister’s name because my name had been black listed by loan companies. Here I learnt to LET GO….

January 2006
A long time friend died of cancer. I thought I would die of heart brokenness. Tony Tan has been my inspiration to live on when at 15. I wanted to commit suicide because I was haunted by my troubled family background. The Lord helped me deal with the pain of losing a dear friend. Here I learn to be EMOTIONALLY STRONGER….

March 2006
A friend cheated me of my PC, my only material possession. Here I learnt to FORGIVE….

We think we are the ones with the biggest disappointments but everyone carries disappointments with him or her. It is the same template, only filled by different histories. We just have to live simply, according to His ways, for His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isa 55: 8-9)

July 2007
More than a year had passed. Just when I was waiting to die, a Christian brother from an FGA satellite church, James Ng, introduced to me by a colleague, proposed. The colours of life seemed to be so different suddenly. Life seemed more complete and fulfilling. Lord, I don’t want to die yet. Let God make my feet like the hind’s feet, enabling me to walk upon high places (Hab 3:19)

November 2007
Although we only dated 7 times in 7 months, but we know that God has made us as perfect match. We got married in Nov 07. The number 7 is indeed a godly good number. Ten years ago, I made a list of what I wanted in a husband and told God about it. I didn’t even believe it will fulfilled half of it and had it slipped my mind for a long time. When I met James, he fulfilled half of the list and I considered that a miracle ! But when we got married, the more I discover that he actually met the entire list! God is so funny and awesome.

January 2008
3 days after James proposed in July 07, he got an offered to work in Bangkok. He got a stunned too because he had given it up months ago and wouldn’t be expecting it for the next 1 to 2 years. We shifted to Bangkok in Jan 08. Then, I remembered what I just blurted out to God when I was servicing the expatriate market in my real estate job. I said, “God, how nice it would be if I could live like an expatriate and travelling with husband to places?”
God actually listened and remembered every word I said? Wow!

February 2008
I went for an arthroscopic surgery in Bumrungrad hospital in Bangkok, which is known as the no. 1 international hospital in the world. It is like a five star hotel. All the charges were paid in full by the company’s insurance in advance. We wouldn’t afford the charges back in Malaysia. Cartilage in my knee was all gone and with some tissue injuries due to bus accident I had in 1999. God remembered what I went through and now He even restored my leg.

After storm, God sends rainbow and restoration.